Hot Date

by EgARednu_Sphinx & Tabula Rasa

Tonight was going to be the perfect night. Well, perfect like any other night I planned to score on. It was all arranged, I would meet Elizabeth, who was new in town, and show her the 'sights', the last of which would be in my room. I'd gotten my Corvette washed earlier in the afternoon, and my suit was immaculate. Even so, I brushed myself off before I walked up to the door, put on my most dashing smile, and rang the bell.

/She/ answered the door. No girl I've ever taken out had shocked me like this. She was wearing an evening dress with slits on both sides that were so high you didn't even have to imagine things. The dress shimmered from blue to green to black as she moved, even slightly. I began to wonder if I might be in over my head.

'Elizabeth Maynor, may I have the pleasure of this evening?' My tone was shaky, shy...not oozing with my normal confidence.

'Why, of course, young man!' She smiled at me in an almost condescending way.

I held out my hand, and led her to the car, then got in the driver's seat. I couldn't believe it! This felt like my first date all over again. I carefully backed the car out and drove towards my favorite Italian restaurant.

Once we arrived, I led her to my usual table, and opened the menu. I began looking through it, but couldn't help but be distracted by her. Nor suspecting that she was finding me distracting. Her feet managed to gently caress my leg while she stared into my eyes, and talking to her was infinitely more interesting than picking a cut of chicken.

My attention was abruptly brought back to the menu when a waiter returned and offered to take our order.

Scrambling to glance at the menu, 'Do you think you could give us another minute?' I asked, feeling slightly embarrassed. The waiter had undoubtedly noticed how infatuated we had been with each other, and indeed seemed to be looking at us slightly oddly.

'No, no,' Elizabeth said, waving her hand dismissively at me. 'We're ready. I'll order for him.'

Unwilling to contradict her, and glad to have her save us from looking completely foolish, I let her pick out dishes for both of. Apparently she'd had a chance to look at the menu when I wasn't looking.

Despite my embarrassment, we quickly returned to talking. I couldn't believe how great a rapport we seemed to have formed. Even when she began telling me about her work at a day care center, in more detail than I could possibly have wanted, I just let her words wash over me and enjoyed her beautiful blue eyes.

At least, until I made a fool of myself. A piece of advice for other men on dates: enjoy your partner's eyes, but pay some attention to your food. There is nothing--nothing--which makes you look like more of a fool than choking on a piece of meet just as your potential lover tells you about how cute a four year old had been the day before.

Elizabeth just grinned. 'You see, you're not cutting the meat up small enough. Your parents should have taught you this.' And, to my astonishment, she slid her chair around to my side of the table, gently took my knife from me, and began cutting up my meat.


'Shh. I do this for children all day. I'd rather do it for you.'

And somehow, we were no longer staring at each other across the table, and were now staring at each other on the same side side of the table, almost touching. And four things crossed my mind. That she liked me, that she was a hell of a catch, that people were staring, and that I didn't care.

She finished cutting up my food, and sat back down. I had to admit that she did know what she was doing. The pieces were so small I couldn't have choked on them if I tried.

We started talking again, and she said something that really caught me off-guard. 'You're pretty cute too, did you know that?'

I have been called many, many things while on dates, but never cute. I gulped, I wanted her more then anyone else I'd ever met, but she was treating me like one of her day-care charges. '' I responded, not very intelligently.

She giggled, 'Oh you are! Cute as a button!'

I could feel my cheeks getting /really/ red. I stared at my plate, 'Thanks 'lizbeth'. It was muttered more then actually spoken. I wasn't /mad/, just...embarrased. Then, the moment passed. She turned the conversation to a local court case, and we just talked like two normal adults on a date. Dinner was over too soon, and I wasn't sure where to go next. I had planned everything out in detail, but suddenly my mind seemed to have gone blank.

I led her to the car, then told her I had to go use the bathroom in an effort to stall for time. She smiled, 'Alright, Mikey. Hurry back though...'

Standing in the bath room, I tried to straighten things out. I couldn't even tell if the date was going well up to this point. One moment it was going perfectly, the next I felt like she was talking to a four year old.

I splashed my face with water and thought 'I can do this. I've done this before, I have everything planned out. I'm fine.' And I went back to the car.

Elizabeth seemed to be looking at me oddly, but I figured it was just nerves. I sat down in the car and adjusted the seat. Which was odd, since I'd been the last person to drive it, so it shouldn't have been necessary. More nerves.

'So, Elizabeth, where would you like to go?' I asked, turning on the charm. 'Have you seen 'A Beautiful Mind?', or...'

'Oh, a movie would be excellent!'

A sigh of relief. Things were back on track, and I drove to the theater. We entered, and checked the times. 'A Beautiful Mind,' unfortunately, had started fifteen minutes earlier.

'Well,' I offered, 'we could go in now. We probably haven't missed anything.'

'Yeah...or...let's do something less intellectual.'

'What d'ya mean?'

'Well, ET's showing. Do you remember the first time you saw that?'

I thought back. 'Kinda...I was pretty young, and I didn't really understand it.'

'Let's go see it!' She seemed strangely invigorated by the idea. And, I realized, I was pretty excited about it too. Though, as we walked in, I couldn't help a quick glance at Peter Pan II.

ET was great. Better then I remembered. It was almost like I'd never seen it before. As we left, I tugged at Lizzys dress. 'Can we see Peta Pan 'morrow?' She looked down (down?) at me, and smiled. We'll see, Mikey. First you have to drive us back to your house, remember? You really wanted to show me your house.

I thought about it, then remembered some really neat toys of mine that I could show her. 'Yeah!' I said, suddenly excited, 'Let's go!' I ran out to the car, completely ignoring her, and all the stares I was getting, then I looked at myself, and tried to remember how I'd gotten out to the car without her. I walked back and started apologizing.

'I really don't know what got into me!' I said. 'I...'

'Don't worry about it Mike!', she laughed, 'it happens to me all the time.'

And with that, we got in the car, and once I adjusted the seat, we drove off to my house. I was too embarrassed to talk to her much on the way back, and instead spent the trip mulling over the evening in my mind. Somehow, I seemed to have messed up everything, and yet she was coming home with me.

Probably because I was so worried about the evening, I found it harder to drive than usual. I kept having to use one hand fiddle with the seat, and the more I adjusted it, the worse it got. By the time I finally pulled into the driveway, I'd managed to screw it up so badly that I could barely see over the steering wheel. But it didn't matter; I could get the seat set right in the morning, and I certainly didn't plan on anyone leaving until then.

As we entered the house, I was struck again by how amazing she looked. She was the epitome of elegance as she walked from the car to the house, while I felt like an oaf who could barely keep from tripping over my pant legs.

I closed the door and gave her a brief tour of the house, ending, of course, in the bedroom. She glanced at her watch and said, winking, 'Well, I think it's bedtime. Why don't I...get you changed for bed.'

And for all my worrying about how to convince her to sleep with me, she walked right over and began unbuttoning my pants.

I felt like I complete oaf. She was smooth, every motion filled with grace and purpose. And I stood there unable to do anything. My pants slid off, then my jacket, tie, shirt, and undershirt. 'Can I help you, Liz?' I whispered, unsure if I could if she did say yes.

'No, no Mikey...I'll get ready for you. You should put on something a little more...appropriate, I think. She gestured at my boxers which were almost sliding off my waist. Odd, I thought, where had I gotten boxers that big?

Still, she didn't want my help, and I was relieved, somehow. I scurried up to my room to get ready for her. As I shut the door, my boxers slid to my feet. I looked at them, surprised. It was almost like they wanted this as much as I did. Then I shivered, remembering how much I had enjoyed Elizabeth's touch while she 'changed' me. If she wants to do that, I thought, then I should let her 'change' me a little more. I dug in my drawers and pulled on a long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of sweats. Not too much or too little...then I opened the door halfway, and tucked myself into bed to wait.

Suddenly I bright light shone in my eyes! I raised my hand to cover my eyes and saw the dinosaurs on my sleeve. Dinosaurs? I didn't know I had a shirt with dino's on it.

Then I heard a female voice. 'Oh I'm sorry Mikey...I didn't know you were already in bed!' The light flickered out. I heard footsteps then felt a weight on the bed next to me. Something struck me as the bed shifted...this couldn't be my king-size bed...It felt roomy to me, but Liz was much to close to the edge.

She lay next to me, but didn't seem to be doing anything. This was it, the moment had to be perfect. She seemed willing, but it would still take a little persuading. I needed a way to impress her...

Getting out of bed, I reached a book down from a shelf, surprised at how hard it was to reach. Sure enough, it was my favorite dinosaur book. 'Can I read to you, plleeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeee?' I asked, then was shocked by how whiney I sounded. It did work though. 'Alright, if you read fast.'

I ran back to my bed. It had my favorite dino sheets on it. They matched my pjs and I giggled.

'Are you all ready for bed, Mikey?'



'I did 'em!'


'With soap!'

'Just in case?'

'Do I have too?' Now I really sounded baby-ish. 'I'm a big boy now!' I wasn't sure if this was working...I'd done everything right, so she should be impressed, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something had gone really, really wrong.

'Yes, but you still need them. I said so!'

I sulked off to the bathroom. In the cabinet were the 'just in case' big boy diapers. They have really dumb stuff on 'em too.. I adjusted my pants so it didn't look like I'm a baby.

I went back to my room and crawled into bed. 'I'm ready!' I said, and began reading to her. It was hard, 'cause I don't know some of the big words, but she helped me out with them. I wanted to finish it, but I started getting sleepy, and so after a while she took the book out of my hand and turned out the light.

Then I realized. I'm an adult, I took her out on a date, and somehow it's ended with me in training pants, reading to her about dinosaurs. I try to regain control of the situation, 'Elizab-'

And then she reaches the bed and tucks me in, and I'm so cozy that I forget what I was upset about and drift off to sleep, dreaming of riding dinosaurs.